Silence

Finally, I think I'm ready to post, and I actually have time to! We're almost half way through this 40 day fast, and I am so proud and provoked by all those around me. Being silent for these 17 days has really given me the ability to enjoy others, although they feel totally awkward because I can't say anything to them.

So what has the Lord been saying in these past two weeks? Wow... well isn't that a question. The answer is actually a lot simpler than I thought it would be. I would bring it down to three points:

1) The Centrality of Christ
It is so easy to get overly acquainted with the idea of Jesus. Key word--idea. When it comes down to it, do I know Him? If I were standing face to face with Him, and we were talking to one another about what we love about one another, how much would I have to say about Him? What would be the content of our conversation?
In former times, the Lord revealed Himself in many ways and through many voices. But now, He speaks to us with one thunderous Word--His Son (Hebrews 1:1-3). Throughout the book of John, Jesus makes the most outrageous statements about Himself. Despite all that God had revealed before His birth, John 1:18 explicitly says, "No one has seen God at any time; the only begotten of the Father, He has explained Him." In His life, death, and glorification, Jesus is the resounding voice of the Lord speaking to humanity.
Being a person who delights in the knowledge of God, I have many times expounded on the rhetoric of this truth. However, now that I am taking the time to look through the Scriptures and come to Him with them in prayer (John 5:39-40), it is astounding to find that what I've said is actually true! There is a power on the prayerful study of the Person of Christ that really does supernaturally exhilarate and strengthen the heart. It takes a little while to get past the mundane of it, but when it's trudged through, I come out on the other side feeling alive and clean.

2) The Jealousy of the Holy Spirit
I have God living on the inside of me. He is always there, no matter if I feel Him or not, and He is always passionately desiring all of my affection and attention, whether I am aware of it or not. His jealousy is burning more hotly than any person I have ever known or ever will know, and yet in His eternal gentleness He restrains from taking over before I want Him to. He wants agreement, and yet He's not demanding because He wants it deeply and profoundly.
The only love God requires from us is non-obligatory love. He is the ultimate stalker, yet in the words of Alicia Good, "the only difference between a victim and a lover is the nature of their beloved." Praise the Lord that we have a Beloved who is like no other.
To make this more concrete and not so ethereal, let me say this: God really offers us continual communion with the Holy Spirit. He is actually calling every believer to it. This does not mean that He is offering an experience of unbroken ecstasy (which we will have in the coming Age), but He is a Person who is always there inside wanting a friend to converse with. Communion is conversation, plain and simple, though sometimes nothing is said at all. God is jealous for it.

3) The Urgency of Knowing the Lord
At the end of the first week of the fast, I went to see a movie at the dollar theatre called "Amazing Grace." If you have not seen this movie, I would highly recommend it. It is the story of William Wilberforce, the man who spear-headed the abolition of slavery in Great Britain. After seeing this movie with some friends, they were spurred on while I was left completely disillusioned.
What am I doing in this life? Why do I even exist in this world? Am I actually living for things that matter? Am I just living autonomously or am I really partnering with the Lord in bringing His kingdom to the earth? All of my time throughout the day, all of my money, all of my energy--what is it unto? Yes, I found myself in the middle of the book of Ecclesiastes.
Well, after much soul-seeking and having words with the Lord, I came to a conclusion. There is only one thing that actually matters is knowing Him. I came into this world with nothing and I will leave it with nothing. During the in-between time, He has great plans for my life, but they're all unto this one thing.
In Matthew 25, there are ten virgins waiting for the return of the Bridegroom (Jesus); five were called wise by God and five were deemed foolish. Yet they all fell asleep. In the mundane of life, they all lived in the reality of going about as though things were normal. When finally the cry was heard that He is coming, the only ones who were ready to respond rightly were those who had stored up history in the prayerful knowledge of God (oil). The others actually were not able to respond, and they fell away from the Lord into apostasy and eternal damnation.
There is reason to tremble at the thought of not knowing Him. The only thing that God calls wise is sticking it out and contending to know Him intimately. How is this done? Day by day, with violent pursuit.

There are several other topics that I have in my mind, but these are the main three. If you do want to leave a remark, please comment not only on what I said, but what the Lord is putting on your heart during this season. Grace to you all!